I first met Nell O’Connor in 1972, when Ellie O’Connor took me home to meet her parents. At that point, Nell had been raising four children—two daughters and two sons—for half her life. Every day when her husband Dennis was off making a living, she was busily at work, making a home.Getting to know the family—Ellie and I married in 1975—I came to understand that it was Nell, in her quiet, steadfast way, fixing her children’s breakfasts and supervising their chores and dressing them for church and helping them with their projects for school . . . it was Nell and her love for her family that had ensured the continuity of things no matter where they lived, and that stayed with her children even after they grew up and started families of their own.
So why am I telling you about Nell? Because I’m awfully fond of her. But also because last month she graduated from college. She’s 83.
Dennis and Nell did all the right things as parents and as people. But we humans, alas, don’t get to write our own stories. As Hamlet said, “There’s a divinity that shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will.” Too soon after their children were grown and on their own, Dennis developed colon cancer and by his early 60’s he was gone.
You’ve got to know Nell O’Connor to appreciate her faith and her fealty to her family and friends. She loves them and they love her back. But she needed more purpose, and at 67 she signed up for classes at the University of North Carolina-Wilmington. Over 16 years—one course, sometimes two at a time—she completed a major in history, a minor in geography, and graduated with honors.
Is that cool or what? How many times did she call our house to tell us that she’d learned something new? We may not write our own stories, but Nell was determined to be an active contributor to hers. Involved with people, intellectually alive, always curious.
In mid-December her children came from all over to attend her graduation. So did all 10 grand-kids, flying in or driving in from practically everywhere, and trooping in during the reception wearing T-shirts that read, “My Grandmother Is Smarter than Yours.”
Friends of 40 years were there, the faculty member who taught and advised her, the guy who helped her learn to use a computer, the old bridge partners. All there out of love and celebration and no small measure of amazement at who she is and what she’d achieved.
So draw from Nell’s story whatever lessons about love and resilience you care to draw. But aren’t you just so proud of her?
Nell’s photo is from the Wilmington Star-News.
Ted the Cat (1994-present) is a domestic shorthair blogger and vers libre poet. He also enjoys sleeping, eating, and lurking. Ted the Cat co-habits with Kaze,
also a blogger at 317am.net.
Yes, oh yes, very, very proud. What a Lady, Kaze!
And what a lovely and loving tribute. Thank you.
I am inspired! What a heart warming story. See, sometimes non-fiction IS better than fiction. But don't tell your students that.